My #14kpwd Test

Had to do it a few min early, but 108 for me. YEA!!!! WOO HOO! YEA DOC! Sticking together! pic here: http://bit.ly/UPWoa #14kpwd

Update: at 4pm = 77 ftw!

Emotions

Today I am guest blogging over at 'The Butter Compartment', Lee Ann Thill's awesome blog. I will be back with more posts here in the next few days. You can find today's post on Emotions here.

Sand Surfing, the "Low", and my 'tude

Click the pictures for full-size

versions. The story sets up the

pair of videos at the end

If you follow my tweets on twitter, from time to time you may see me talking to . . . er . . . my diabetes. Taunting it. Challenging it. And telling it I am on my way to the gym, where I am basically going to kick it's _ _ _! For me, it works. It's one little way I try to deal with the fear that if I am not doing something to proactively maintain, and even improve my overall physical strength and stamina, then the 'betes monster will surely run me over like a bug in the path of a semi. I know that's actually a bit irrational. 'betes is gonna do whatever it's gonna do. My physical strength is absolutely no match. I was in awesome physical shape at age 17 when I became a type 1 diabetic. But it doesn't hurt to be in shape.

My desire to get into, and stay in shape has more to do with what I've been through this past year. It has been a year of recovery from an accident I will write about soon, as the anniversary of the accident approaches. In the meantime, here is a preview: think stairs, falling . . . er . . . flying through the air, many, many broken bones, surgery, months of recovery. Well, you get the idea. Anyway, during this past year, my attitude of "never, EVER giving up" in the face of whatever D wants to throw at me has been tested time after time. And I am glad to say that my 'tude is still very much alive and intact. But that leads me to the story of something that happened shortly before this accident . . . in May of 08.

One of my favorite places is Cloudcroft, New Mexico.

Through the years, it has been a place we have returned to time after time to relax and get away. A place simply to unplug and unwind. The cabin sits at approx. 9500 feet above sea level. In the winter it gets a ton of snow. In the summer, the temperatures on top of the mountain where Cloudcroft is nestled, are just incredibly awesomelicous!

This is the top floor of the cabin,

with one additional floor and a basement below.

Our girls, Amy and Amber, have grown up "going to the cabin".

Down the mountain from Cloudcroft is the town of Alamogordo, Holloman Air Force Base, and White Sands Missile Range. The temperature difference from the top of the mountain down to White Sands can be pretty extreme. In the summer, it may be 55 to 60 at the cabin, and way over 100 degrees out at White Sands. There is a part of White Sands, the National Monument section, which is open to the public. And it is there that we have gone to play in the sand dunes year after year. The dunes stretch for hundreds of miles. In fact, you can easily see them from the top of the mountain.

Yep, that's the view we see. Now you know why we love it so much.

Out at the National Monument, we love to spend all day climbing the giant sand dunes, and then sliding down on waxed boards. Check out the pics below showing Amy and Amber, both way back then and now, and then I'll be back to set up todays video.

I love sliding down the dunes as fast as I can go.

It's also fun to get a running start, and then throw yourself off the dune without a board.

Of course, then the sand has a funny way of finding all sorts of strange places to end up. (note to self: Dude, TMI! You seriously MUST learn to edit! Jeez!) Oh yea, I talk to myself sometimes too. :-)

Anyway, In may of last year, we found ourselves on vacation, out at the dunes. The video below tells the story of what happened, and then goes on to reinforce my idea that at least for me, I should never, EVER give up without a fight. No matter what!

Basically, at one point, I went incredibly low, while trying to climb a super high dune. At one point in the video, you'll hear some applause sound effects. Why? These are the sounds I hear in my head all the time, that I try to use to keep me going during a low. I imagine it's the sound of you guys, cheering me on! Oh yea, one more thing. I know that lows are serious, serious business. But please feel free to laugh at me. I do all the time.

Enjoy.

Video 1 Never, EVER Give Up

Video 2 The Rest of the day Music track "Without a Fight", by Hoobastank (LUV 'em! one of my favs!)

Link to the White Sands National Monument here.

Take Care of URself!

As always, click the picture for the full-size version

I have been trying my best to take good care of myself this year. I have been trying to eat in as healthy of a manner as I can, and to get plenty of exercise. Here is a picture that was taken last week while I was in Houston, getting ready to leave the hotel and head to the gym.

It's amazing what a little effort can do, and how much it can pay off. Here is a picture of me around this same time a year ago. And no, I'm not like some of those other blogs that only post pictures of themselves from 10 years ago and lead you to believe they still look like that. I'll always let you know if it's not a current picture. BTW, I'm no doctor, and you should always check with yours before changing your routine in any significant way, but before I show my pic from last year, just remember: hydrate yourself, get plenty of exercise, take all your meds consistently, be sure to test your BG often, and try to sleep at least 8 hours a day. That's the only way I know to keep from looking like I used to . . .

Have a GREAT, AWESOME day!!! And Be Encouraged!

U ROCK!

t

One Horse Open SLEIGH!!! A Video CLASSIC!

Today's post comes under the heading of something I am calling Randombetes. That's also the name of a 2nd blog I will occasionally post on, when what I have to say doesn't seem to fit here. It's just random info. Or pictures. Or stories. Sometimes D-related, sometimes not. For now, I'll use this blog for today's post.

Many of you have heard me talk about my two daughters, Amy and Amber. Amy is 17, blond, with blue eyes. Amber is 15, a brunette, with brown eyes.

Amy is beautiful, and loves to read. Read what? Anything. If it has words, she will pretty much read it cover to cover, word for word. And then a year later, she will read it again. "Just because". She also loves her iPhone, playing on the computer, and sleeping. She's 17, need I say more? I love her with all my heart.

Both of them LOVE to dance, and have been doing it since they were very young. Next year they will be on the varsity dance team together at their high school. I can't wait.

Amber loves life. Every day is an adventure around our house, if Amber is anywhere in the vicinity. She loves all the things any 15 year old girl does.

Of course I'm kidding! She's beautiful!

Amber LOVES making fun of ME. (shhh, don't tell her, but she's really good at it too)

And you have to know that I love her with all of my heart.

I have the BEST daughters on the planet. And they spoil me in every way you can imagine, and along with my wife Pam, they take VERY good care of me.

If you've been on any of the Skype sessions with me, you may have heard me say the phrase "Stalkerbetes". Yep, that came from Amber. I've seen a few of you using it on twitter now, and I have to say, when I do, it brings a smile to my face every time. Here is how it came about.

"We hate these dance costumes so we're gonna make a silly picture about it"

When I first got involved in the DOC and started using twitter and then eventually chatting with many of you online, Amber started saying that we were all stalking each other, and out of that, came the term "Stalkerbetes". Frankly, i love it, and find myself saying it all the time, and I'm fairly sure you will be too soon enough.

Today, I wanted to show you a video of Amy and Amber that was taken when they were little girls. Amy, true to form, Amy is holding a book. And Amber . . . well, she is just being Amber. It's what we call at our house an "Amber Classic Moment". I think you'll get a kick out of it. Click HERE

Alternate youtube video HERE

Enjoy!

Hang Ten

Today's post contains Pictures

linked from PhotoBucket.

Click on them for larger versions

Some days I don't feel up to

messin' with the D

And some days, I'm less than

enthusiastic about the whole deal

Some days I don't even

recognize my own body

And good, consistent control

seems always just out of reach

Those are the days I'm

tempted to give up

'cause It feels like I'LL

NEVER be strong enough

But I've learned that

all of that is a lie.

A lie whispered in my ear

by a rotten, stinkin' disease

called diabetes mellitus

You know . . .

da 'betes,

da sugar,

da pancreas fail,

da thirsty

da pee pees

da sweeters

da cranky

the D

and it sucks!

But do you think for one minute

I'm going to let this POS win?

Not a chance!

Those are the days I

dig down deep,

and somehow find the strength,

and the courage, to go just one more day.

Just one more!

And I've learned to

never, ever look back

You see, there's nothing back there

but a whole lot of hurt and

stuff I'd rather leave behind

I take it one day at a time

and refuse to give in.

So as for the 'betes,

I talk to it.

I talk to it on the good days,

and I definitely talk to it on the bad.

And yea, there are those days

when it does feel like

I'm spittin' into a hurricane

But I say it anyway

It helps me stay focused.

Focused on my mission.

And my mission is to do

anything and everything I can

to outthink, outrun, and

outlast this hideous disease

To WIN!

And win I am.

Even if only in my own mind.

You see, the 'betes

may take my body.

But it will

NEVER!

EVER!

EVER!

Take my spirit!

That is mine!

and the D can't have it!

So there!

Here is a great image

I like to keep in my head.

It's the image of a surfer,

riding the largest wave of his life

To fend off disaster,

all he needs to do is stay

just a little bit ahead of the wave

Sometimes it seems as if

he's going to 'eat it' and be

swallowed up and consumed by it

Only to emerge on the other side

Standing

And the wave/'betes?

As it whimpers onto the shore, a

broken, harmless ripple, a

pathetic poser of it's former self

I laugh, and give it the 1

finger salute it deserves.

ok 'tude, that's enough for now,

You can brag some more another day

Watch this video, and

let it be your mental image today

Fail

How many times have you . . .

Gone for a checkup, hoping for a good A1c test, and come away disappointed, discouraged, and basically feeling like, "Why bother"?

How many times have you . . .
Miscounted the carbs in a meal, only to be shocked when your meter shows you to be at a toasty 307?

How many times have you . . .
Forgotten to bolus altogether before eating, and then remembered when you were not in a position to do anything about it?

How many times have you . . .
Found yourself startled from your sleep, only to find yourself covered in sweat, your heart pounding, your ears ringing, barely able to think straight? Simply because you took too much insulin, or you didn't eat enough. And then found yourself 'panic-eating' yourself to a rebound that would make the NBA interested in your technique?

How many times have you . . .

Left the house without your supplies?

Or been tempted by that all too familiar 'starchy-off the glycemic-index chart' munchy thing . . . and given in?

Or found yourself too exhausted to exercise, or too tired to participate in an activity, only to feel like a failure?

Or [insert your own life-scenario here]

How many times? Like a failure?

You, my friend, are SO NOT a failure! Let me say that again. You DID NOT FAIL! You are human. It happens.

Years ago, when I was just starting college, one day my mom sent me a newspaper clipping. Of the many, many things my mom did that I can now look back on and say, "Wow, I'm SO glad she did that", this was one of them. Basically here is what it said.

Everyday, you are gonna get up, and no matter what you do, stuff is gonna happen to you. Some of it may be good, some of it may even be great, and some of it may fall into that category I call 'major suckage'. What determines which category it falls into? You do.

What I am saying is that you, and you alone are going to be the one who ultimately decides how you are going to view all of the things that will happen to you during your day.

You, and you alone.

Oh, other people will try to tell you how you should feel, and even how you should act and react to all of these things. But ultimately, it's up to you. It's that inner voice we all hear in our head all day long. Not voices, that's quite another thing. Me? I talk to all of those voices, all day long. :-)

What I'm talking about here is your own self dialoging. And my thought is this; if ultimately, you are the only one who can decide how you feel about something, that also means that you are also the only one who can and will ultimately decide if whatever your inner voice is talking to you about is a failure or not! It's all about attitude! In addition to that, here is what it's not about; it's not about the attitude, the words, the feelings, and the 'well-meaning but often SO misguided' statements of those around us. And . . . sometimes that even means those who care about us the most. Because try as they might, they most likely haven't been where you are. Don't get me wrong, that's not a bad thing. One of my friends says it this way, "It is what it is". And in this case, what is, is that it's what you think, and what you feel about 'the stuff' that matters.

So . . . what is your inner voice telling you? Because it's talking to you. ALL DAY LONG. What is it saying? I believe it's all about attitude. I mentioned in my last post that I tend to see things from a fairly optimistic point of view. And my attitude? I try my best to see all of the 'junk' as things I hope to improve on; IF, and only if it's something that I can control to any significant amount. You see, most of the time the way I see many of the things that "didn't work out as I may have hoped for the first time" as an opportunity. Sometimes it's an opportunity for growth. Sometimes for a do-over. And sometimes, simply as a life lesson of something to avoid. But as a diabetic, I DO NOT see any of the above-mentioned things by themselves as failures. It's simply part of the package. The package of being human. And of being a person with diabetes.

There are some things that I do consider to be things that I can and do fail at. No need to spell them out here. Just know that I, like you, do fail. It happens. We're human.

I think it bears repeating, I do not see any of the above-mentioned items all by itself as a failure. But taken as a whole, collectively, they do add up to give me an indication of where I am at any given moment in my D-Life. And regarding my D-Life as a whole, Failure is SO NOT An Option! BUT, what does it mean to fail in the life of a diabetic? And WHO is the one that gets to consider ANYTHING that we go through other than US a failure?

YOU are the only one that gets to decide that. You. And you ALONE!
Not the Dr.
Not the Nurse
Not the "You can't eat that" 'food police'
Not the 'bolus checker'
Not the non-D friend.

And . . . not even the D-friend. And certainly not me. OK, I think I've hammered that point quite enough.

:::stepping off of the soap box:::

You guys still here? Great! Thanks for hangin'. I promise I'm really about to make my point.

:::takes a deep breath:::

So now that you have somewhat of an understanding of my view of the word 'fail', I can ask this question. What are you going to do if you fall? What are you going to do if you fall/fail more than once? How about 3 times? How about 5? Or 10, or . . . even 100 times?

Ultimately, true failure for me is SO NOT an option. You see, for me, falling is not the failure. For me, not trying is the failure. So for me, I keep going. I try again, and then I TRY AGAIN! Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. If it doesn't, I may get a bit discouraged. It's in those instances, with the help of my family and friends, I deal with that, and then, I try again. Over and over and over and over and over . . . You see, even if I never, ever make it, it won't matter. For me, what matters is to keep going, and to NEVER, EVER stop trying. Because it's only with 'the trying' that success has a chance of becoming reality. In most things in life, I'm pretty realistic. (OK, all of you who just said "No you're not", you be quiet! This is my blog. You go commentate on your own blog)

Hmmm. OK, maybe they were right. Maybe I am dreaming here. But my ultimate point is this. I do not have a choice. I did not choose to be a diabetic. BUT, I AM CHOOSING TO LIVE! And I am going to live the D-Life the best I can, which for me means a 'full steam ahead' 'pedal to the metal' 'dam the torpedoes' "warp 10 Mr Scott" kind of attitude! You see, my pancreas stopped working, not my brain, and most certainly not my 'spiritual' heart! Until the day my physical heart joins my pancreas and God calls me home, I WILL keep trying!

:::climbing down off the tower:::

Sorry, I get excited. And when I do, sometimes this stuff just comes rushing out. It's part of the 'tude. When that happens, I've learned to just get out of the way, and let the 'tude say whatever it's gonna say. I find that I usually agree with it. And when I don't?

Not pretty.

:::shaking head:::

Not pretty at all. :-)

OK, enough silliness.

I am not saying that this is what you should do. I only offer it as an example of what I try to do. And I offer it in an effort to be an encouragement.

All over the planet, right now, D's are finding themselves dealing with "the stuff'. The 'baggage'. And 'the voice'.

What is your voice saying to you? And what is your 'tude?

Watch this video, and I think you will be moved. And in a good way. All I can say is I was, and am, humbled. And encouraged!

tMac

I think we can all learn something from Nick Vujicic. Nick was born without arms or legs. On top of that, no Dr. has been able to provide a medical reason for his condition. Faced with countless challenges and obstacles, he has found the strength to surmount what others might call impossible. Along with that, he has an unquenchable passion to share that with people all over the planet.

If you want to now more about him, you can find it here.