Thursday, June 4, 2009


How many times have you . . .
Gone for a checkup, hoping for a good A1c test, and come away disappointed, discouraged, and basically feeling like, "Why bother"?

How many times have you . . .
Miscounted the carbs in a meal, only to be shocked when your meter shows you to be at a toasty 307?

How many times have you . . .
Forgotten to bolus altogether before eating, and then remembered when you were not in a position to do anything about it?

How many times have you . . .
Found yourself startled from your sleep, only to find yourself covered in sweat, your heart pounding, your ears ringing, barely able to think straight? Simply because you took too much insulin, or you didn't eat enough. And then found yourself 'panic-eating' yourself to a rebound that would make the NBA interested in your technique?

How many times have you . . .
Left the house without your supplies?
Or been tempted by that all too familiar 'starchy-off the glycemic-index chart' munchy thing . . . and given in?
Or found yourself too exhausted to exercise, or too tired to participate in an activity, only to feel like a failure?
Or [insert your own life-scenario here]

How many times? Like a failure?

You, my friend, are SO NOT a failure! Let me say that again. You DID NOT FAIL! You are human. It happens.

Years ago, when I was just starting college, one day my mom sent me a newspaper clipping. Of the many, many things my mom did that I can now look back on and say, "Wow, I'm SO glad she did that", this was one of them. Basically here is what it said.

Everyday, you are gonna get up, and no matter what you do, stuff is gonna happen to you. Some of it may be good, some of it may even be great, and some of it may fall into that category I call 'major suckage'. What determines which category it falls into? You do.

What I am saying is that you, and you alone are going to be the one who ultimately decides how you are going to view all of the things that will happen to you during your day.

You, and you alone.

Oh, other people will try to tell you how you should feel, and even how you should act and react to all of these things. But ultimately, it's up to you. It's that inner voice we all hear in our head all day long. Not voices, that's quite another thing. Me? I talk to all of those voices, all day long. :-)

What I'm talking about here is your own self dialoging. And my thought is this; if ultimately, you are the only one who can decide how you feel about something, that also means that you are also the only one who can and will ultimately decide if whatever your inner voice is talking to you about is a failure or not! It's all about attitude! In addition to that, here is what it's not about; it's not about the attitude, the words, the feelings, and the 'well-meaning but often SO misguided' statements of those around us. And . . . sometimes that even means those who care about us the most. Because try as they might, they most likely haven't been where you are. Don't get me wrong, that's not a bad thing. One of my friends says it this way, "It is what it is". And in this case, what is, is that it's what you think, and what you feel about 'the stuff' that matters.

So . . . what is your inner voice telling you? Because it's talking to you. ALL DAY LONG. What is it saying? I believe it's all about attitude. I mentioned in my last post that I tend to see things from a fairly optimistic point of view. And my attitude? I try my best to see all of the 'junk' as things I hope to improve on; IF, and only if it's something that I can control to any significant amount. You see, most of the time the way I see many of the things that "didn't work out as I may have hoped for the first time" as an opportunity. Sometimes it's an opportunity for growth. Sometimes for a do-over. And sometimes, simply as a life lesson of something to avoid. But as a diabetic, I DO NOT see any of the above-mentioned things by themselves as failures. It's simply part of the package. The package of being human. And of being a person with diabetes.

There are some things that I do consider to be things that I can and do fail at. No need to spell them out here. Just know that I, like you, do fail. It happens. We're human.

I think it bears repeating, I do not see any of the above-mentioned items all by itself as a failure. But taken as a whole, collectively, they do add up to give me an indication of where I am at any given moment in my D-Life. And regarding my D-Life as a whole, Failure is SO NOT An Option! BUT, what does it mean to fail in the life of a diabetic? And WHO is the one that gets to consider ANYTHING that we go through other than US a failure?

YOU are the only one that gets to decide that. You. And you ALONE!
Not the Dr.
Not the Nurse
Not the "You can't eat that" 'food police'
Not the 'bolus checker'
Not the non-D friend.
And . . . not even the D-friend. And certainly not me. OK, I think I've hammered that point quite enough.

:::stepping off of the soap box:::

You guys still here? Great! Thanks for hangin'. I promise I'm really about to make my point.

:::takes a deep breath:::

So now that you have somewhat of an understanding of my view of the word 'fail', I can ask this question. What are you going to do if you fall? What are you going to do if you fall/fail more than once? How about 3 times? How about 5? Or 10, or . . . even 100 times?

true failure for me is SO NOT an option. You see, for me, falling is not the failure. For me, not trying is the failure. So for me, I keep going. I try again, and then I TRY AGAIN! Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. If it doesn't, I may get a bit discouraged. It's in those instances, with the help of my family and friends, I deal with that, and then, I try again. Over and over and over and over and over . . . You see, even if I never, ever make it, it won't matter. For me, what matters is to keep going, and to NEVER, EVER stop trying. Because it's only with 'the trying' that success has a chance of becoming reality. In most things in life, I'm pretty realistic. (OK, all of you who just said "No you're not", you be quiet! This is my blog. You go commentate on your own blog)

Hmmm. OK, maybe they were right. Maybe I am dreaming here. But my ultimate point is this. I do not have a choice. I did not choose to be a diabetic. BUT, I AM CHOOSING TO LIVE! And I am going to live the D-Life the best I can, which for me means a 'full steam ahead' 'pedal to the metal' 'dam the torpedoes' "warp 10 Mr Scott" kind of attitude! You see, my pancreas stopped working, not my brain, and most certainly not my 'spiritual' heart! Until the day my physical heart joins my pancreas and God calls me home, I WILL keep trying!

:::climbing down off the tower:::

Sorry, I get excited. And when I do, sometimes this stuff just comes rushing out. It's part of the 'tude. When that happens, I've learned to just get out of the way, and let the 'tude say whatever it's gonna say. I find that I usually agree with it. And when I don't?

Not pretty.

:::shaking head:::

Not pretty at all. :-)

OK, enough silliness.

I am not saying that this is what you should do. I only offer it as an example of what I try to do. And I offer it in an effort to be an encouragement.

All over the planet, right now, D's are finding themselves dealing with "the stuff'. The 'baggage'. And 'the voice'.

What is your voice saying to you? And what is your 'tude?

Watch this video, and I think you will be moved. And in a good way. All I can say is I was, and am, humbled. And encouraged!


I think we can all learn something from Nick Vujicic. Nick was born without arms or legs. On top of that, no Dr. has been able to provide a medical reason for his condition. Faced with countless challenges and obstacles, he has found the strength to surmount what others might call impossible. Along with that, he has an unquenchable passion to share that with people all over the planet.

If you want to now more about him, you can find it here.


  1. As a card-carrying "glass half empty, who the hell stole my water" kind of girl, I have to say you've given me something to think about. Actually, I'm very optimistic about other people, just pessimistic about myself. But okay, that 52 when I left Target today was not a FAIL. No, the fact that I sat in my car, checked, ate, waited, waited some more, checked again and had a 91 - then drove home? Well, that was a WIN. I need to be proud of the fact that I didn't just drive home with a low. Celebrate what we do right, don't beat ourselves up over the bad stuff that happens to us. I got it!

  2. You gots it Karen!!! Exactly what he is saying. Exactly the point. We are our own worst enemies but only We can decide how we deal with it and move forward.

    GREAT post Tim. Well written, well said. Very good points and reminders. Glad we have to DOC to remind us, encourage us. I don't always like that it is up to me but whatev. That's life.

    Uh, it is what it is. For sure. ;-)

    And that video. O M Goodness. Wow.
    Awesome stuff.
    Keep up the great posts!